Getting a TomTom vs. Having a Child

I can tell you one thing, both can be painful experiences.

But first, for the uninitiated, as I was before Deirdre and Norman literally punted me out of the 20th Century into the 21st by presenting me with a TomTom GPS (Global Positioning Satellite) system for the car so that I would always know where I was and so that I could find out how to get to wherever it was that I was going. Good-bye to my beloved Rand-McNally atlas given to me by my hometown State farm agent for my many years of loyalty (with all the money I have funneled into State Farm, I could buy airline tickets everywhere forever!)...hello to a brave new world!

I have spent over a week with TomTom now and I can compare the experience only with the experience of having and living with a child.

Ways in Which TomTom and a Child Are Alike:

1. Neither can be left unattended in a car.
2. Neither can be prevented from saying whatever it wants to say, even if you don't particularly want to hear it.

"800 yards, turn right,"
"Turn right."
"Turn right."
"Turn right."

"Are we there yet?"
"I'm hungry."
"I'm bored."
"I have to go to the bathroom."

Ways in Which TomTom and a Child Are Not Alike:

1. TomTom arrives with a full set of instructions,plus internet help websites, plus an 800 number customer service help desk. With the arrival of a child, you are on your own. (It helps to have done some baby sitting when you were a teenager.)

2. If you purchase a TomTom that turns out to be defective, you can exchange it for another one or even get your money back as long as you have the receipt. Hospitals, generally, do not recognize a receipt from the facility as a mandate to change out an infant you deem unsuitable. For whatever reasons.